I decided to do the program because, according to the statistics from the study conducted by Harvard University and the Kaiser Foundation:
In the next 24 hours, almost 3,000 young women will become pregnant.
Adolescents from Hispanic backgrounds are three times more prone to contracting AIDS than North Americans.
I also think that we’re not talking enough or very clearly to our children about sex, AIDS, and drugs, and since I always say that every time our kids go out in the street they go out to war, and the best weapon we can give them is information, we did the two programs in order to facilitate the communication between parents and children.
In the first insallment we had as our experts Dr. Pablo Rodríguez, gynecologist and obstetrician, a professor at Brown University and spokesperson for the Aids Research Institute at Harvard University, and Dr. Jeanne Blake, a journalist specializing in Health and Medicine, who wrote the book “Risky Times: How to be AIDS Smart and Stay Healthy.” Dr. Blake was the main inspiration for the program.
Several parents served as panelists.
It is never too early or too late to talk to our children about sex. And I titled the series “Educarnos para Educar” (Let’s Educate Ourselves so We Can Educate) because nobody is born knowing.
“The worst thing a parent can do is try to avoid curiosity,” said Dr. Rodríguez. “They must be honest...use the correct words, such as ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’...If they don’t have the tools or the knowledge about drug-abuse or premature pregnancy they will not be able to protect themselves."
We talked about “propitious moments” in which we can best tackle these subjects with our teens:
A pregnancy in the family
Kisses on television shows or soap-operas
Any suggestive act on television, even in commercials.
In the next 24 hours, 1,500 youth will try to commit suicide in this country.
And what we parents agree on, no matter whether we’re liberal or conservative, is that we have to do something.
“Listen, listen, listen!” exhorted Dr. Rodríguez. “We must avoid at all costs trying to give a sermon about sexuality, when what we must do instead is try to find out what our young people are thinking and feeling.”
Some guidelines to ensure a good sexual education and a good rapport with our adolescents:
Earn their trust from the time they are small children.
Threats simply do not work; kids need to have complete and total access to their parents.
It is important that we speak to them clearly about protected sex.
It is crucial that we share our values, and our feelings about self-respect.
The second part of the program focused mostly on homosexuality.
“According to the Council for Education and Sexual Information of the United Sates, one in every 10 adolescents feels confused about his or her sexual orientation at some point, and one in every 20 turns out to be a homosexual."
On this program we had a father who supports her lesbian daughter; Edwin Ortiz, founder of the organization “Youth Against Drugs and Alcohol”; journalist Chiqui Cartagena, spokesperson for GLAAD, and the half-sister of Speaker of the House, Gnewt Gingrich. Candace Gingrich wrote the book, “The Accidental Activist,” in which she talks about coming out. She asked me to write the introduction for the book and I felt honored to do so. With us was also Milli Zamora, the sister of Pedro Zamora, the exemplary youth who was an AIDS activist until his death.
This part of the program dealt with how to talk to our children to better understand the times in which they live, so we won’t make mistakes in helping them go through them.
About homosexuality, I always say that it happens in the best of families, and that it isn't anyone's fault. Nobody chooses to become gay, and leading a double-life is probably the most detestable way to be for any human being. We must accept our children unconditionally.
Because every time we reject one of our children for being gay, do you know where they go? To the neighborhood bar, where there are people much older than themselves who aren't there to give them advice, but something else.
We closed with the message that it isn't easy to talk to our children and our adolescents about sex, because nobody talked to the majority of us about those things; especially not our parents.
It is also true that not everyone is equipped to tackle subjects such as AIDS, drugs and homosexuality. That's why I think it important that we, as parents of the 90’s, inform ourselves.
It is our parental obligation to know at least what our children face day after day, and hand them the tools and the weapons so they can in turn make their own sound decisions.
It is up to you that your child be happy, healthy, sane, and safe. Go to your libraries, talk to your children's teachers, ask for help.
And if you have any doubts remember: what your children do not learn from you they will learn in the street, from someone who wont love him or her like you do.
It is only with information, and a hell of a lot of love, that we can win this war.
Resources:
LLEGO (National Organization of Latino/a Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals)
Toll-free number: 1-800-633-8320
To Order Books:
“The Accidental Activist”, by Candace Gingrich
1-800-866-6263
“Risky Times: How to be AIDS Smart and Stay Healthy,” by Jeanne Blake.
1-800-600-5779